Low expectations are your friend.
Jan. 23rd, 2010 08:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jennaria"Come see LEGION," says Katie. "It's the Apocalypse. And Paul Bettany. With angel wings."
"...um?" says I. I mean, I did spend years in Good Omens fandom, so it's not that I'm immune to the allure of Apocalypse stories, especially ones with Paul Bettany in them, but dammit, I have standards. Somewhere. (You know how it is, you put them down once and then can't find them again.)
But I went anyway, because how much can a movie with Paul Bettany suck? He's not one of those actors who can actually make a movie good just by being in it, but he can save it from unwatchability.
Basically: it really, really helps if you go in with no expectations, or expectations so low that Paul Bettany just has to sprout said angel wings to fulfill them. (Which he does within the first five minutes, although you only see it in shadow, so there you are.) The script is utterly predictable: if you know anything about action movies, horror movies, or some combination, then you can call who's going to be the weak link and who's going to die. The only thing it lacks to actually become parody is that Bruce Campbell sort of self-awareness. Instead, everyone plays it totally straight.
That's the real tricky part: what they're playing straight. See, God has had it up to here with humans, so he's sending a second flood -- not water, but angels come down to earth, possessing humans, and wiping them out. This is apparently a world without the Devil, as these angels display all the symptoms we're used to seeing from demons (flies, sharp teeth, matte black eyes, unnatural jointing, occasional disregard for the law of gravity, that sort of thing): this God is Ultimate Arbiter, both for good and bad. He's wiping out humanity, but He might change his mind. It all rests with the unborn child of a truck-stop waitress out in Arizona, and an angel who's disobeyed the order to go kill that child.
(Why, exactly, if the child could stop God's anger, God didn't just...cause her to spontaneously abort or something, isn't discussed. In fact, it's stated that something or Someone actually prevented her from getting the abortion she initially wanted when she realized she was pregnant. Then again, God changes His mind about destroying humanity. :throws up her hands: See also: probably better not to think too hard about this movie, just enjoy it for what it is.)
The real attraction of this movie is said angel, Michael as played by Paul Bettany. I mean, the set-up is really kind of your standard horror movie sort of set-up: a small group of people in said truck-stop diner, surrounded by the angel-possessed who are out to kill the waitress and/or her unborn child, so you've got a small ensemble. You've got the truck-stop owner (who of course is all bitter over his own past), the owner's son (who would like to be Joseph to the waitress's Mary), the family whose car broke down (complete with Harpy Wife and Slut Daughter), and the not just one but two! Black Guys, one the standard Wise Good model, one the Gangsta model - okay, they get a little more depth than that, but this is not a movie that does depth, regardless of race. Michael's as close as you get, Michael and his stark ruthlessness and determination that never quite tips over into desperation, a love of humanity and of its potential that's oddly cold but nonetheless genuine.
...well, and also Michael gets what's undoubtedly the coolest fight in the entire movie: this fallen angel, who cut off his wings back at the beginning of the movie, versus Gabriel, who's faster, angrier, and still has his wings, which are one helluva lot more than just pretty feathers. I don't have a wing kink, but they were both beautiful and used well here.
It's still a funny movie. It doesn't mean to be funny, but c'mon, how can you take truly seriously any movie that uses lines like, "I can't leave. I just feel like there's something I gotta do."? Or, heaven save us, "Will we ever see you again?" When, during a climactic moment, one character said, "Give me the child," I will admit to actually leaning over to Katie and murmuring, "Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here..." But to be fair, that's probably more a comment on having watched other movies to many times.
In summary: not a bad movie, will probably be more fun watched on the DVD player at home when we can make comments without worrying about offending the other people in the theater.
"...um?" says I. I mean, I did spend years in Good Omens fandom, so it's not that I'm immune to the allure of Apocalypse stories, especially ones with Paul Bettany in them, but dammit, I have standards. Somewhere. (You know how it is, you put them down once and then can't find them again.)
But I went anyway, because how much can a movie with Paul Bettany suck? He's not one of those actors who can actually make a movie good just by being in it, but he can save it from unwatchability.
Basically: it really, really helps if you go in with no expectations, or expectations so low that Paul Bettany just has to sprout said angel wings to fulfill them. (Which he does within the first five minutes, although you only see it in shadow, so there you are.) The script is utterly predictable: if you know anything about action movies, horror movies, or some combination, then you can call who's going to be the weak link and who's going to die. The only thing it lacks to actually become parody is that Bruce Campbell sort of self-awareness. Instead, everyone plays it totally straight.
That's the real tricky part: what they're playing straight. See, God has had it up to here with humans, so he's sending a second flood -- not water, but angels come down to earth, possessing humans, and wiping them out. This is apparently a world without the Devil, as these angels display all the symptoms we're used to seeing from demons (flies, sharp teeth, matte black eyes, unnatural jointing, occasional disregard for the law of gravity, that sort of thing): this God is Ultimate Arbiter, both for good and bad. He's wiping out humanity, but He might change his mind. It all rests with the unborn child of a truck-stop waitress out in Arizona, and an angel who's disobeyed the order to go kill that child.
(Why, exactly, if the child could stop God's anger, God didn't just...cause her to spontaneously abort or something, isn't discussed. In fact, it's stated that something or Someone actually prevented her from getting the abortion she initially wanted when she realized she was pregnant. Then again, God changes His mind about destroying humanity. :throws up her hands: See also: probably better not to think too hard about this movie, just enjoy it for what it is.)
The real attraction of this movie is said angel, Michael as played by Paul Bettany. I mean, the set-up is really kind of your standard horror movie sort of set-up: a small group of people in said truck-stop diner, surrounded by the angel-possessed who are out to kill the waitress and/or her unborn child, so you've got a small ensemble. You've got the truck-stop owner (who of course is all bitter over his own past), the owner's son (who would like to be Joseph to the waitress's Mary), the family whose car broke down (complete with Harpy Wife and Slut Daughter), and the not just one but two! Black Guys, one the standard Wise Good model, one the Gangsta model - okay, they get a little more depth than that, but this is not a movie that does depth, regardless of race. Michael's as close as you get, Michael and his stark ruthlessness and determination that never quite tips over into desperation, a love of humanity and of its potential that's oddly cold but nonetheless genuine.
...well, and also Michael gets what's undoubtedly the coolest fight in the entire movie: this fallen angel, who cut off his wings back at the beginning of the movie, versus Gabriel, who's faster, angrier, and still has his wings, which are one helluva lot more than just pretty feathers. I don't have a wing kink, but they were both beautiful and used well here.
It's still a funny movie. It doesn't mean to be funny, but c'mon, how can you take truly seriously any movie that uses lines like, "I can't leave. I just feel like there's something I gotta do."? Or, heaven save us, "Will we ever see you again?" When, during a climactic moment, one character said, "Give me the child," I will admit to actually leaning over to Katie and murmuring, "Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here..." But to be fair, that's probably more a comment on having watched other movies to many times.
In summary: not a bad movie, will probably be more fun watched on the DVD player at home when we can make comments without worrying about offending the other people in the theater.