My first mistake was reading fanfic.
Apr. 18th, 2015 02:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jennariaI have wandered into the edges of Les Miserables fandom. (Somewhere, jenett is feeling smug and doesn't know why yet.) This isn't as bad as it seems, because there are SO MANY ADAPTATIONS, seriously. More than the various versions of Hamlet that I watched, back when that was my shiny thing.
The problem is...um. How to put this. I am kind of choosy.
2012 adaptation of the musical: Seen in the theaters. Enjoyed it, but came out afterwards and ranted to my wife for twenty minutes about Russell Crowe as Javert, starting with HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE A BARITONE and going on from there. (This is not unusual for me and movie musicals, to be fair. I did the same thing after seeing THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, only more so.)
1935 version: Used to be available streaming on Netflix, but now it isn't? Anyway. Despite being under two hours, this one starts with Valjean's trial, during which we are to believe that someone who looks like a 1930s male lead is a poor peasant desperate enough to steal bread. I mean, wow, the guy's clean-cut enough to slice bread. But, y'know, 1930s movies, I shouldn't expect any different.
Cut to: Javert, lined up in front of Some Police Official Who The Fuck Knows along with a whole bunch of other uniformed policemen/guards/look the movie doesn't care so why should I. "You are decent but unimaginative," says the official-type dude. "But oh ho, what is this Secret I see in your papers?" (Spoilers: it's his parents having been convicts.) "I don't know if I should give you an assignment after all." And Javert doesn't try to argue the point: he just stands there, his lips wobbling like a five-year-old who's about to lose the toy they've been dreaming of this whole year. I tapped out, because that is not Javert dammit. Javert's got plenty of flaws, but lack of backbone ain't one of them.
1978 version: Uploaded, in its entirety, on Youtube, by someone who labels it A Movie About Faith And Living As A Christian - apparently this ministry is more important than respecting copyright laws, idk. This movie is also two hours, and begins even further back, with Valjean stealing the bread. They then show (in detail) his trial and his life in prison, complete with multiple escape attempts and Javert inexplicably being the head of the prison and perving on Valjean. (I am not exaggerating. Either he is hot for Valjean or he is all I SENSE A MAIN CHARACTER IN MY PRISON, and either way he stares at Valjean specifically out of all the prisoners kind of a lot.)
Anyway! Shortly before the half-hour mark, this Valjean escapes successfully (! - maybe he senses that parole will suck?), and he runs around for the next several minutes making Poor Life Choices. I tapped out before he ever met the Bishop, because on the one hand I am kind of a Javert fangirl (as you may have guessed from the above) and they're doing fine by Javert, characterization wise, but on the other I was spending a lot of time staring at the screen alternately going VALJEAN NO and WHAT THE HELL SCREENWRITERS, because this is a two-hour movie, we're over a quarter of the way through and Valjean hasn't even reformed yet? There is kind of a lot of plot that is gonna have to be crammed into a very little time, and I have no idea how they intended to do it. I may yet go back and do, like, a screencap summary so I can properly explain, in exhaustive detail, exactly how much crack this movie is on.
Hulu has the Epic Criterion Edition adaptation, and then I've exhausted my easily-found streaming adaptations. Although who knows, maybe there are more Christians on Youtube. :wry:
jenett is feeling smug and doesn't know why yet.) This isn't as bad as it seems, because there are SO MANY ADAPTATIONS, seriously. More than the various versions of Hamlet that I watched, back when that was my shiny thing.The problem is...um. How to put this. I am kind of choosy.
2012 adaptation of the musical: Seen in the theaters. Enjoyed it, but came out afterwards and ranted to my wife for twenty minutes about Russell Crowe as Javert, starting with HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE A BARITONE and going on from there. (This is not unusual for me and movie musicals, to be fair. I did the same thing after seeing THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, only more so.)
1935 version: Used to be available streaming on Netflix, but now it isn't? Anyway. Despite being under two hours, this one starts with Valjean's trial, during which we are to believe that someone who looks like a 1930s male lead is a poor peasant desperate enough to steal bread. I mean, wow, the guy's clean-cut enough to slice bread. But, y'know, 1930s movies, I shouldn't expect any different.
Cut to: Javert, lined up in front of Some Police Official Who The Fuck Knows along with a whole bunch of other uniformed policemen/guards/look the movie doesn't care so why should I. "You are decent but unimaginative," says the official-type dude. "But oh ho, what is this Secret I see in your papers?" (Spoilers: it's his parents having been convicts.) "I don't know if I should give you an assignment after all." And Javert doesn't try to argue the point: he just stands there, his lips wobbling like a five-year-old who's about to lose the toy they've been dreaming of this whole year. I tapped out, because that is not Javert dammit. Javert's got plenty of flaws, but lack of backbone ain't one of them.
1978 version: Uploaded, in its entirety, on Youtube, by someone who labels it A Movie About Faith And Living As A Christian - apparently this ministry is more important than respecting copyright laws, idk. This movie is also two hours, and begins even further back, with Valjean stealing the bread. They then show (in detail) his trial and his life in prison, complete with multiple escape attempts and Javert inexplicably being the head of the prison and perving on Valjean. (I am not exaggerating. Either he is hot for Valjean or he is all I SENSE A MAIN CHARACTER IN MY PRISON, and either way he stares at Valjean specifically out of all the prisoners kind of a lot.)
Anyway! Shortly before the half-hour mark, this Valjean escapes successfully (! - maybe he senses that parole will suck?), and he runs around for the next several minutes making Poor Life Choices. I tapped out before he ever met the Bishop, because on the one hand I am kind of a Javert fangirl (as you may have guessed from the above) and they're doing fine by Javert, characterization wise, but on the other I was spending a lot of time staring at the screen alternately going VALJEAN NO and WHAT THE HELL SCREENWRITERS, because this is a two-hour movie, we're over a quarter of the way through and Valjean hasn't even reformed yet? There is kind of a lot of plot that is gonna have to be crammed into a very little time, and I have no idea how they intended to do it. I may yet go back and do, like, a screencap summary so I can properly explain, in exhaustive detail, exactly how much crack this movie is on.
Hulu has the Epic Criterion Edition adaptation, and then I've exhausted my easily-found streaming adaptations. Although who knows, maybe there are more Christians on Youtube. :wry: